With apologies to Alton Brown

Let me get this off my chest.

I can't really stand Alton Brown.

Well, that's not entirely true.  He's not that bad.  He's personable, he gives good information, he's generally on point.  He (or his writers) has a sense of humor. 

Actually, I'm not entirely sure why I don't like him.  He's too smug maybe?

One of his drives is to 'banish the unitasker.'  At one point, I jokingly said to someone who is more in tune with Altonism 'I wonder... does Alton Brown own a waffle maker?'

Turns out, yes, and he admitted on a show that it was his secret shame, that one unitasker that he owns because, frankly, it just isn't something you can multitask with.  A pizzelle maker, sure.  You can make ice cream cones, rolled cookies, flat cookies.  But a waffle maker?  It is pretty much just a waffle maker.  He also admits that a fire extinguisher is a unitasker everyone should own.

At this point, there's probably two questions, maybe three, you're asking yourself.

1)  What in the hell does Alton Brown have to do with this post?

Good question.

Recently, we came into possession of a kitchen gadget called the GarlicZoom from Chef'n.

And, frankly, it's amazing.

It took:

and, about 10 seconds later, gave me:

Now, my knife skills are slowly getting better.

But not *that* good.

I was astounded.

And amazed.

And, to be honest, it's not that uni-function.  I used it to mince some red onion last night.  Unfortunately, you have to chop up the onion pretty small to get it to fit in the capsule, so while you can do it, really this thing is designed for garlic.

And it works in spades.

2)  And this is local... how?

Well... uhh... the company who makes it is actually based in Seattle.  In fact, the owner is the brother of our landlady's home assistant.  So, there.  It's local.  Ish.

We have a few other Chef'n products.  A PepperBall and SaltBall, a PalmPeeler, a VeggiSteam. 

And, in the interest of fairness, we received the GarlicZoom for free as a gift by way of our landlady.  It wasn't expected that we'd be reviewing it, it was simply a nice little gift from our landlady and her assistant.

3)  So where's the recipe?

You got me there.  No recipe here. 

...

Really?

...

You want a recipe and won't leave until you get one?

Fine.

1. Go buy a

Amazon.com: Chef'n Garlic Zoom: Kitchen & Dining

2. Wait until it arrives.
3. Wash the GarlicZoom.
4. Peel a garlic clove or two.
5. Put the clove in the GarlicZoom.
6. Run the GarlicZoom like it's a matchbox car.  Making VroomVroom noises is optional.  If you want a video lesson:

7. Open the GarlicZoom and empty it into a hot frying pan with some olive oil (or whatever oil is local to you).
8. Cook until garlic odor wafts up and it smells cooked.  Seriously.  You'll know it when it hits.
9. Pour oil and garlic into a cruet.  Add enough oil to get you 3/4 cup of oil.
10. Add a few pinches of oregano, rosemary or thyme.
11. Add in 1/4 cup of vinegar, red wine, white wine, balsamic, pear cider.  Use your imagination.
12. Shake and pour over your salad.

There's your damn recipe.  Hope you enjoy it.

No, really, I do.  Sincerely.

Geez, stop looking at me like that, I'm just giving you what you wanted.  A recipe.